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insomniac

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crazedanddazed Nov 02, 2003 12:32 Read 61 times, Dig?
ugh i hate this, i dont understand what the hell is goin on these past coupla weeks... I donít sleep at nite. I spend my days like a zombie and my nights wandering round in my thoughts, getting deeper and deeper, until I get lost and cant turn back. These thoughts are not mine. My dreams are not mine. I donít know where they come from or why theyíre in my head. I close my eyes late at night. Wanting to sleep. Sleep for days and days. But again I wander thru my thoughts. And even when I empty my mind I cant get to sleep. My eyelids are heavy. My body is sound and weak but my mind is racing. I cant make it stop. I look at the clock and only two minutes have past when I feel like its been two hours. Then finally I drift off- just a little- only to wake up sweaty and scared. Not remembering the dream I had but being terrified of my surroundings. I listen quietly to distant sounds outside. A rutsle, a footstep, a laugh. Again I look at the clock. Itís 5 am meaning I slept less than twenty minutes. Short yet extrememly frightning, and I still donít know why. What is it that scares me so? Why this insomnia? Why do I feel like someone else is wandering in my mind also, haunting me, chasing me and strangling me. I curl up under my warm sheets. My hair is wet from sweat and tears. My room is cold. Terribly cold. I spend the rest of the night twisting and turning. Then I find tears rolling down my cheek. I get angry and yell at myself for not goin to sleep. For feeling so pathetic and helpless. And for feeling so fuckin sorry for myself.
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Comments from other users:

  • "I seem to be having a problem sort of similar to yours... I mean, I can't sleep well either. I don't know to tell you buddy, but perhaps it will go away soon?" - Greengirl
This story was written by crazedanddazed and has been brought you you by the letters C and N.
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