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blunDering bowels of bernadine

(3)
ephidryn Feb 27, 2003 10:59 Read 186 times, Dig?
Feb 28th
I started my "Master Cleanse 3000 super duper fast" today. Which entails drinking a concoction made from lemons, cayanne pepper, and maple syrup. I even found organic maple syrup after a bit of looking. Each morning a quart of salt water is ingested to flush your system. This causes a bowel movement within one hour of ingestion no matter where you may happen to be. I I noticed almost immediately that my sinus congestion that I aqcuired while walking acrross town in the cold wet rain has cleared considerably. Technically you are sposed to start the day before with a laxative but they don't have psyllium around here and I fear the alteranives. (gotta pee again)

Feb 29th
After about 24hrs and a few trips to the restroom I began to wonder about the importance of starting this fast without the aid of some sort of laxative. This morning I decided it wasn't too late to start over so I broke my one day fast with some high fiber munchy wunchies. I also tossed 2 redbulls on top of it pretty much destroying the wonderfull anti toxin environment that I had spent the previous day building inside my gut. Finally the feculants flowed and it was good. Interestingly enough even after only one day of this fast I noticed a drastic difference in my stool (yeah i look, don't you?). So this evening I am going to the pharmacia to find the most natural method for getting everybody in my intestinal party jivin', happenin', and movin' on down the tract. I intend on eating a vegatable salad this evening and a fruit breakfast tomorrow morning followed by a juice lunch. So tonight will be my exploding colon extravaganza and tomorrow I will ease my body onto a 10 day fast. During my fast I will continue to consume the same low dosages of hydergine and piracetam. Man the dejavic halucinacions are gonna be good.

March 6th
So in reality I started my fast yesterday. The day before yesterday I hate lintels for lunch and then started in with the lemonade. I got past the hunger early on yesterday and now I feel bloated and everything looks surreal. I watched bowling for columbine last night and I hate america a little bit more now. I have to move tomorrow and I am not sure where to yet.... but thinks are fast here when it comes to places to live. I wanna go to ibiza but I really shouldn't spend what little cash I have on boat trips and stuff. Then again I guess you only live once.....
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Comments from other users:

  • "When you are full of shit it takes awhile to become fully cleansed. I have a great book called Living in the Raw which has great recipes but I lent it out to Manohar. BTW, there is no Feb. 29." - reb
  • "I ejaculate lemons, cayenne pepper and maple syrup." - infectus
  • "I have heard of the maple syrup-concoction fast before. I am very interested in hearing all about your intent, experience, and results. keep postin! I'd love to be rid of all the nasty chemicals inside" - Manohar
  • "I am scared." - squid
  • "Yeah, I don't ever remember mentioning G and "concern for health" in the same sentence. Ever. " - Squeeb!
  • "Wow, detailed. :) Thanks." - The Flaming Cow
This story was written by ephidryn and has been brought you you by the letters J and P.
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